Xindy’s Only*

Thursday, July 16, 2009

This time round, its final. Im maybe at fault, but i can't see where is it. It hearbreaking to think of the past, the horrible past i had from you. Sec 1-2 is the worst in my life. the tears throught the 3-4 months can be a like how many tubs.It lasted for 3-4 months, i shiver to beg for mercy from you. I beg dad i din wanted to go home. I remebered everything. Bro say i din show respect to you. If i din show respect to you , i din know i can tolerate until now. I know you are not well. But it prove today that you can control yourself. You can shout to me, and talk well to sis. Is this unfair, fine, i say nothing because im the wrong one in you, remember im ALWAYS the WRONG one. I'm always the criminal. I can't see your basic respect for me, i swear i did respect you. I pleased you in everyway i can. I just tell you the fact, but not talked back to you, i know you will never understand me. And who will?

Eyes are gonna be swollen tomorow. And i gonna get hell tomorrow in school, i spent half of my night crying, Non-stop. I didnt know how to pleased you annymore. I'm also a human,please spare me. I'm really tired. You say my baking stardard not good, end up you will take the food i bake and give to others. You need my help you will talk to me, the questions i asked you still remain in doubt. The card and present i gave you, you never appreaciate. I did something wrong, in the past or present you will spread it to everyone, tell how bad i'm. And can i ask you something? Did you remembering the time since i'm born you praise me before? Can you? Can any of you think of an event? My brain says no. Whatever i did was wrong, incorrect, horrible, worst than anyone. Studies, being your daughter. Being fat is also wrong, eat also wrong. everything is wrong. You want me to be the way you want? Faster bathe, excel in studies, stayed at home all the time. say yes to everything, don't you think if that actions are no different from a robot.

Humans do have things that are not same, everyone is special in their own way, i'm too. I have lots of flaws. Fat, sleepy-header, sturboorn. So? That is still me, that why i'm me. I can be like you the way you want, cause im not you. You get what i mean? I have my own thinking, i'm old enough, i know how to think with the way i want. Sorry if i did anything wrong.:(

Loved @*10:42 PM